Working in parish ministry has given me a front-row seat to the diverse challenges that couples face today, especially regarding marriage. Among these challenges are couples who come forward with great excitement to prepare for a white wedding, filled with dreams and high expectations, sometimes unaware of the deeper demands of the sacrament. Others approach the Church seeking to have their civil marriage blessed, often after years of shared life and children, yearning to root their commitment in faith.
There are also those who, having hit a rough patch, are searching for reconciliation and a chance to rediscover the joy they once felt; the joy that inspired them to choose one another in the first place. Still others come burdened with pain, requesting an annulment as they seek healing, closure, and possibly a new beginning. All of these pastoral situations reflect the complex and evolving landscape of marriage and underscore how deeply the Church is called to walk alongside couples with compassion and clarity.
The Foundation and Challenge of Sacramental Marriage
These varied realities mentioned above underscore a central truth: sacramental marriage is both foundational to society and profoundly demanding. Anthony Grugni, in his insightful work Preparing for Marriage (p. 17), affirms that “The impact of marriage on human life lies mainly in the fact that it is founded on love,” highlighting that love is not simply emotion but a unifying force that creates a new human reality; the couple.
In the Christian tradition, this love is not merely natural affection but is elevated by divine grace, becoming a channel of God’s presence in the couple’s life. Sacramental marriage, therefore, becomes a covenant where God’s strength empowers human love, especially when it is tested by trials or weariness. This divine companionship means that even when couples feel uncertain or overwhelmed, they are not alone; their union is held by a God who remains faithful.
The Danger of Losing Sight of God
Yet, even with such grace available, many Christian families fall into the danger of side-lining God from their daily lives and decisions. In a world obsessed with speed, success, and independence, spiritual life often takes a back seat, and divine guidance is replaced with human logic and fleeting trends. This erosion of faith contributes to the increasing number of crises in marriages that once began with prayer and joy in church. As secular mindsets infiltrate even
Christian households, marriage starts to seem like a risky gamble rather than a sacred journey. The decline in spiritual practices like family prayer, Mass attendance, and sacramental life, leaves marriages vulnerable to worldly pressures and emotional disconnection. Without God at the center, couples risk losing the very anchor that sustains their love through life’s inevitable storms.
Faithfulness as a Reflection of God’s Love
True and lasting fidelity in marriage is more than a moral achievement; it is a profound witness to God’s own steadfast love. Youcat teaches that “Absolute fidelity in marriage is not so much a human achievement as it is a testimony to the faithfulness of God,” reminding us that even when couples struggle, fail, or forget each other, God remains present. This divine fidelity should inspire couples to seek strength beyond themselves, especially when love feels strained or imperfect. Faithful spouses are not relying solely on compatibility or good communication—they are relying on grace, which restores, heals, and sustains. To marry in the Church is to declare, “We trust in God’s power more than our own ability to love,” allowing Him to transform even weakness into opportunity for growth and deeper union.
Sin and the Struggles Within Marriage
Many of the struggles in marriage stem not just from external pressures but from inner battles with sin and brokenness. Poor communication and self-centeredness often lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and distance between partners, while societal challenges such as financial instability, work stress, or family expectations only add to the strain. Youcat (p. 152) identifies these trials but stresses the deeper danger: “the decisive role is played by the reality of sin,” which includes pride, infidelity, lust, jealousy, and a thirst for control. Sin disrupts the harmony of marriage and clouds the couple’s ability to love sacrificially. Yet, the Gospel offers hope through forgiveness, a powerful medicine that brings renewal when freely given and humbly received. Sacramental marriage is a call to live out daily conversion, choosing love again and again, even when it is difficult. In this way, forgiveness becomes the bridge to healing and communion.
The Changing Society and Its Impact on Marriage
Our modern world is undergoing rapid and profound changes, and these shifts deeply impact how marriage is perceived, valued, and lived. As Anthony Grugni notes in Preparing for Marriage (p. 21), “under the influence of the current situation, the pattern of family life is also undergoing modification,” and this is particularly evident in urban and industrial settings, though rural areas are not immune. These cultural changes include the redefinition of family, the normalization of divorce, and the rise of individualism, all of which challenge traditional Christian understandings of marriage. In our consumer-driven world, even relationships are treated as disposable, to be discarded when inconvenient or unfulfilling. The Church, however, continues to proclaim that marriage is not a contract but a covenant; a reflection of the eternal love between Christ and his Church (The Didache Bible, p. 1629). This vision calls us to resist cultural pressures and to uphold the sacredness of lifelong commitment, even when it is countercultural.
By Fr. Teddy Kalibuku, Mccj
